THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO SPECTACULAR FAILURE

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO SPECTACULAR FAILURE
A Reverse Coach's Handbook to Achieving Your Lowest Potential
By Dr. Pessimist McFailure, PhD in Disappointment Studies Certified Failure Coach & Professional Disappointment Consultant With Special Contributions from the Institute of Unrealized Dreams
Praise for "The Complete Guide to Spectacular Failure"
"Finally! A book that validates my lifestyle choices!" - Martha S., Professional Procrastinator
"I didn't finish reading it, and that felt like the point." - Dave K., Serial Quitter
"This book changed my life by confirming I don't need to change anything." - Anonymous Couch Philosopher
"Two thumbs down - exactly the rating I was hoping for!" - The Pessimist's Gazette
Table of Contents
Introduction: Welcome to Your Worst Self
PART I: THE FOUNDATIONS OF FAILURE

• Chapter 1: The Art of Setting Unrealistic Goals
• Chapter 2: Procrastination Mastery: Why Do Today What You Can Avoid Forever?
• Chapter 3: Building Your Network of Toxic People
• Chapter 4: The Power of Negative Thinking

PART II: ADVANCED FAILURE TECHNIQUES

• Chapter 5: Time Mismanagement for Maximum Chaos
• Chapter 6: How to Quit Everything Spectacularly
• Chapter 7: The Fine Art of Self-Sabotage
• Chapter 8: Turning Your Strengths into Weaknesses

PART III: LIFESTYLE FAILURE

• Chapter 9: Advanced Excuse Creation
• Chapter 10: Maintaining Your Comfort Zone at All Costs
• Chapter 11: The Failure Mindset: Mental Models for Mediocrity
• Chapter 12: Financial Irresponsibility and the Art of Being Broke

PART IV: SOCIAL FAILURE MASTERY

• Chapter 13: Relationship Sabotage for Beginners
• Chapter 14: Career Limiting Moves: A Professional Guide
• Chapter 15: Health and Wellness Destruction
• Chapter 16: Creative Failure: How to Kill Your Artistic Dreams

PART V: ADVANCED FAILURE SYSTEMS

• Chapter 17: The Failure Feedback Loop
• Chapter 18: Creating Your Personal Failure Brand
• Chapter 19: Teaching Others to Fail: Becoming a Failure Mentor
• Chapter 20: The Ultimate Failure: Succeeding at Being Unsuccessful

Conclusion: Your Journey to Rock Bottom Appendices: Failure Tools and Resources