Hat check man Louis Blore is in love with nightclub star May Daly. May, however, is love with a poor dancer, but wants to marry for money. When Louis wins the Irish Sweepstakes, he asks May to marry him and she accepts even though she doesn't love him. Soon after, Louis has an accident and gets knocked on the head, where he dreams that he's King Louis XV pursuing the infamous Madame Du Barry.

Alien invaders kidnap everyone's favorite right jolly old elf in this low-budget mixture of children's comedy and sci-fi adventure. Christmas is not far away, and countless children are glued to their family's TV sets, watching reports about Santa Claus (John Call). However, this is happening on Mars, and leaders of the Red Planet aren't sure what to do for their kids who are pining away for a visit from the gift-bearing earthling. Martian leader Kimar (Leonard Hicks) dispatches two of his emissaries, the chronically grumpy Voldar (Vincent Beck) and the moronically cheerful Dropo (Bill McCutcheon), to Earth to bring Santa back for a visit. After arriving on Earth, Voldar and Dropo abduct two children, Betty (Donna Conforti) and Billy (Victor Stiles), and order the kids to show them the way to Santa's workshop, from which all three are taken to Mars against their will. As Santa, Betty, and Billy try to find a way back to Earth, Voldar becomes enraged with the Earth kids, while the children bond more comfortably with the intellectually-challenged Dropo. Shot on a shoestring budget on Long Island, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has developed a rabid cult following over the years, and yes, it's true, Kimar's daughter Girmar really is played by a ten-year-old Pia Zadora.

Gary Cooper stars in this broad naval farce, directed by Henry Hathaway and based upon a John W. Hazard New Yorker magazine story. Cooper plays Lieutenant John Harkness, a wet-behind-the ears naval lieutenant who is given command of his first ship. Unfortunately, not only is Harkness new to commanding a naval vessel, but the crew and his subordinate officers are also new at their jobs. Only two old deck hands know the score. And, while Harkness is trying to figure out naval protocol, he also has to deal with the contraption in the engine room, which turns out to be an elaborate steam engine that powers the ship.

The Time: May, 1943. The Place: Yugoslavia. The Mission: Capture Tito dead or alive and destroy the Partisan Nation!